11 April 2006

Mayhem in Marylebone

Lady with huge glasses: Why are these chairs lined up like this?
Me: They’re for the people reading.
Lady with huge glasses: I see. It’s decided before hand is it?
Me: Well, yes. We like to at least look like we know what we're doing.
Lady with huge glasses: Oh right.

[long pause]
Lady with huge glasses: I’ll sit here then.
Me: Good idea. Front row seat.
Man with plastic bags: Hello, you’re a new one.
Me: Yes.
Man with plastic bags: What are you doing here?
Me: I’m reading tonight.
Lady with huge glasses: Yes, it’s all been decided.
Man with plastic bags: You’re a reader?
Me: Yes.
Man with plastic bags: I’m a writer.
Me: Right. That’s good.

[long pause]
Man with plastic bags: Why are these chairs lined up like this?

They had no idea we were coming. They were only there for their writers group. They thought we were only there for the reading group and that we were in the wrong room. Which, in so many ways, I guess we were.

Thank you, though, to the five members of the Westminster Writers Group who sat and listened to us trot out our stories. No thanks though to the muppets who didn’t tell anyone we were coming. This never happens to Jeffrey Archer you know.

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