17 May 2006

Ancient and sacred to many, many

Me: Er…Excuse me. What’s going on here?
Woodlice: Greetings.
Me: Never mind that. What are you all doing in my living room?
Woodlouse: Ah. ‘Living Room’? I think you misunderstand.
Me: Have the squirrels put you up to this?
Woodlouse: Squirrel? I have not heard of this creature. Is mythical deity?
Me: They’d like to think so.
Woodlouse: Please. You make tiny misunderstanding.
Me: Misunderstanding?
Woodlouse: Yes. This not ‘Living Room’, this ancient and sacred woodlice site of worship.
Me: And you’re all here to worship?
Woodlice: We are.
Me: I see. And what are they doing?
Woodlouse: The spiders?
Me: Yes.
Woodlouse: This ancient and sacred spider site of worship also.
Me: And the millipedes?
Woodlouse: This ancient and sacred -
Me: Millipede site of worship?
Woodlouse: Ah. You understand us.
Me: All of you have an ancient and sacred site of worship in my living room?
Woodlouse: Yes. ‘Living Room’ much like Jerusalem of insect world.
Me: Excellent.
Woodlouse: Please excuse me. Must join 345,000,000 long queue for bathroom.


Me: Excellent.

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