What did the lifeboat say to the chapstick?

My "friend" Trugnugget said to me yesterday; ‘Froosh, buddy, tell me your three favourite jokes’. So, I did. He was sorely disappointed in me.

Linda Smith was clearly one of the funniest people ever to grace the planet – her appearances on various Radio 4 panel shows (and the only Room 101 that's been vaguely funny) are invariably evidence of her absolute genius. Even when she was laughing at other people jokes (I’m thinking of the Sandi Toksvig being send condoms on contraception day riff here) she was hilarious. So my first favourite joke has to be (from the News Quiz) “This is Prince Charles and Camilla. Or, as I like to think of them, Rod Hull and Emu.” Although, as I can’t stress enough, everything she said was funny. I miss her.

Secondly, on a recent Deadringers the guy who does the impressions of Menzies Campbell started one of his Campbell sketches (which aren't funny) with the gag “Aren’t high court judges looking young these days?” This made me laugh so hard beer came out of my nose and I hadn’t drunk any for two days.

Also, Humphrey Lyttleton, another person who is just effortlessly hilarious at all times (unless he's playing his trumpet, had a great gag on ‘Sorry I haven’t a clue’ about Una Stubbs, ‘Give us a Clue’ and ‘Fanny by Gaslight’, but I discovered whilst explaining it to Trugnugget that I can’t remember it well enough to communicate it in all its mirthful glory.

Then, the classic – ‘Don’t tell them your name, Pike.’ I hated Dad’s Army but for some reason every time I think of that I chuckle a nice chuckle. A harmless homeguard 1940s chuckle in fact.

Trugnugget didn’t find my re-enactment of these golden moments in comedy funny in the least. I think he was expecting some 'Ostrich walks in a pub' crackers. However, I would like to thank the old Irish bloke who bought me a packet of peanuts in return for my stopping my impression of Mr Mannering which had sadly morphed in Frank Spencer for some reason. I can’t remember why. Also, my eternal gratitude to The Fat Marmoset and Cheesy Q for not throwing darts at me despite all the nasty threats.