A Surfeit of Squirrels (Revenge is a dish best served cute)
Squirrel: Hey Froosh. Where’ve you been? You’ve been very quiet.
Me: I’ve been busy.
Squirrel: Really? Oh, man. You’ve been busy? Doing what. You don’t do anything.
Me: Come here and I will show you.
Squirrel: Seriously? You’re letting me into the house.
Me: Yeah, I’m in a good mood.
Squirrel: You’re not going to put me in that Hannibal Lecter mask even?
Me: Nope. Look at this.
Squirrel: What the hell is that?
(pause)
Squirrel: Aaarrggghh! Help! It’s burning! I can feel the hard, sour crust around my heart melting. Make it stop. Make it stop. It’s too cute.
Me: Yep.
Squirrel: What is it?
Me: It’s a baby.
Squirrel: (runs screaming up horse chestnut at the end of the the garden) Damn you! Damn you!
(pause)
Me: Mwah ha ha ha!
3 comments:
Any tips for the World Cup? Who is the squirrel's favourite?
I guess you've never seen squirrel fleas, oddly the colour of red squirrels and flat and really quite large. Once you've seen squirrel fleas letting them in the house doesn't seem such a fun idea any more.
A beautiful baby. Congratulations and best wishes.
What's with all the squirrels? WH would never have anything like that.
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