27 June 2006

A Surfeit of Squirrels (5)

Squirrel: Froosh?
Me: Yeah?
Squirrel: You appear to have mowed the lawn.
Me: Yep. The grass was knee high. It was time.
Squirrel: Yeah, right, the thing is that I had put some things of mine in the ground and now I can’t find them.
Me: What’s that got to do with me mowing that lawn?
Squirrel: I had a great signposting system going on. You know, stand by ear of corn turn left, take three hoppity jumps to wildly overgrown parsley and turn right, ran at speed toward flowering chives, and so on. Now I can’t find any of my stuff.
Me: I don’t care. The lawn wanted mowing.
Squirrel: Yeah, but what about me? I’ve got a family to support you know.
Me: You can find more nuts, people are always feeding you. Crazy, crazy people.
Squirrel: Who said anything about nuts? I’ve got four high definition televisions, a Mac Powerbook, a box of Gnarls Barkley CDs, a draft of the seventh Harry Potter book, seventeen Louis Vuitton suitcases and a Paul Frank bumbag under here somewhere. Damn you.

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