Cheesy spud bean thing

I've a "brilliant" idea - let’s continue the 'what the hell kind of a blog is this' saga by posting…..a recipe. Bear with me, yes?

I’m a big fan of food. Especially the comfort food. Mmmmm.

So, here is a recipe that I feel epitomises comfort food. I found it in a newspaper supplement or something, a while ago. In winter probably. It’s definitely a winter recipe but we’ve probably had our allocation of sunny days for this year so I shall persevere. Also, it okay to feel in need of comfort in the summer, you know. I like to serve it with savoy cabbage, which really does optimise the flatulence.

Put some medium sized potatoes, washed but not peeled, in a pan of boiling water and, erm, boil them until they are all boiled nicely; cooked through with the skin flaring a little. Then burn your poor fingers to bits peeling off the skin. I don’t know why you have to leave them in their skins then go through the agony of removing them but it makes all the difference so just do as you told. Eh? For a change.

Get a baking dish thingy out of the back of the cupboard and wipe the dust out of it with a damp cloth. You know, one of those that’s ceramic and about 25cm by 15 cm, with sides about 6cm high. Mine’s blue on the outside and white on the inside if that helps.

Pour two cans of organic Heinz baked beans into the dish thing. This is where you find out if you’ve got the right size dish. It’s too late if you haven’t but you’ll know for next time. You can use any old beans of course, but as I was saying to Nigella and Jamie just the other day when writing a recipe it's best to use the most pouncy ingredients you can find so people think you are a gourmet. Also, if you mention a household brand that the peasants will have heard of they will think you a Ccook of the People. Did I mention that you should use King Edward potatoes? Or those Egyptian ones from the shop round the corner from my house are nice. Skins are a bit thin though.

Put the evil digit burning potatoes, by now thoroughly swore at and some of which will be a bit like mash (that’s okay), on top of the beans. Spread them out, don’t just sling them all in one corner.

Next, get an enormous piece of strong cheddar (Davidstow) and, if you are me, grate most of it over the potatoes and beans until you have a cholesterol mountain and you can feel you arteries hardening just looking at it. Alternatively, if you are not me, just grate a non-gluttonous layer of cheese across the top of the mixture like any normal person would do.

Season. I like to season with loads of pepper but not much salt, because what with all the cheese I like to avoid salt as too much of it is bad for me.

Stick it in the oven for a while. I like to sit in front of the oven and watch through the glass door as the cheese melts, then bubbles and the potatoes go a little bit crispy on the top edges. If you don’t have a glass door I can’t imagine what you’ll do but I expect it will involve less dribble and drool.

Eat and enjoy.

I’m sorry? What temperature? Erm, I guess gas mark 6 or something. It’s beans, spuds and cheese – how wrong can it go?

Oh.